Cuarta y última entrega de los artículos dedicados a Fernando Pessoa.
Que la muerte nos acompaña desde que nacemos (hay quien dirá que nos acecha) es algo que ignoramos a conciencia, sobre todo, cuando la juventud reina en la piel y cubre con vitalidad la mirada hacia un futuro lleno de anhelos. Entonces, parece que la vida no ha empezado, no del todo, todavía. Aunque siempre hay excepciones y Pessoa no era ajeno a la muerte, cercana e indudable. Será por eso que nos invita a vivir el momento, a través de Ricardo Reis:
Nada nos falta porque nada somos.
No esperamos nada
Y sentimos frío al sol.
Mas tal como es, gocemos el momento,
Solemnes en la alegría levemente,
Y aguardando la muerte como quien la conoce.
Para este último artículo, me he sumergido más que nunca en sus letras, buscando registro, constancia, lo que fuera que pudiera contarme cómo vivió sus últimos años un hombre entregado a la escritura, dueño de proyectos inacabados, de montones de historias atrapadas en un baúl. Todos esos folios quedaron huérfanos de obra, y algunos de ellos, se han incorporado a publicaciones póstumas; pero solo tres libros fueron publicados en vida del poeta: Antinous e 35 sonets, English Poems I-II-III, en inglés; Mensagem, en portugués. Miles de papeles dejan constancia de su huella literaria y, sin embargo, poco nos queda del hombre que fue. El 30 de noviembre de 1935, a los 47 años, fallecía en el Hospital de los franceses. Se dice que una cirrosis hepática fue la causante, algo que no me extraña si tengo en cuenta su famosa amistad con el alcohol, tan estrecha que llegaba a fundirse con su existencia, como contaba Bernardo Soares:
Cada cual tiene su alcohol. Tengo alcohol suficiente con existir. Borracho de sentirme, vagabundeo y voy seguro.
Pero, volviendo a la pregunta que me hacía al inicio , ¿cómo vivió la última etapa de su vida? Porque sabemos que la relación con Ophélia Queiroz tuvo un segundo intento, nueve años después de la ruptura en 1920; pero también sabemos que fue algo efímero, abocado al fracaso desde el principio. Pessoa, solo podía estar comprometido con su obra literaria… y ni eso:
Manufacturamos ideales. La materia prima sigue siendo la misma, pero la forma, que el arte le ha dado, la aleja de continuar siendo efectivamente la misma. Una mesa de pino es pino pero también es mesa. Nos sentamos a la mesa y no al pino. Un amor es un instinto sexual, pero no amamos con el instinto sexual, sino con la presuposición de otro sentimiento. Y esa presuposición es ya, en efecto, otro sentimiento.
También nos dice:
Nunca amamos a nadie. Amamos, tan solamente, a la idea que nos hacemos de alguien. Es a un concepto nuestro —en suma, a nosotros mismos— a lo que amamos.
Así, abrazado a la escritura, fumando sin descanso y bebiendo a la par, fue consumiendo los días este “hombre-envoltorio” de una pluralidad de poetas. Diría Sophia de Mello en uno de sus versos a Fernando Pessoa:
Tu afanoso atreverse a no ser nadie.
Era todos y ninguno. Dedicado a muchas cosas sin concluir nada. Mediocre y excelente. Joven y viejo. Sencillo y complejo. Un fracasado y, a la vez, un prodigio de las letras portuguesas. Raro, como él solo. He querido zambullirme en la ficción creada por Antonio Tabucchi en la que recrea cómo fueron los tres últimos días de la vida de Pessoa, partiendo de algunos datos bibliográficos. Acompañado en todo momento de sus heterónimos, el poeta reconoce:
…vivir mi vida ha sido vivir miles de vidas, estoy cansado, mi vela se ha consumido
Sabía que su muerte estaba cerca y nos ayuda en un poema a resumir lo que fue:
Si, después que yo muera, se quisiera escribir mi biografía,
Nada sería más simple.
Exactamente poseo dos fechas -la de mi nacimiento y
la de mi muerte.
Entre una y otra todos los días me
pertenecen.
Soy fácil de describir.
He vivido como un loco.
He amado a las cosas sin ningún sentimentalismo.
Nunca tuve un deseo que no pudiera colmar, pues nunca anduve ciego.
Incluso escuchar para mí fue nada más que un complemento del ver.
Comprendí que las cosas son reales y totalmente diferentes una de otra:
Lo comprendí con los ojos, jamás con el pensamiento.
Comprenderlo con el pensamiento hubiera sido encontrarlas
todas iguales.
Un día me sentí dormido como un niño.
Cerré los ojos y dormí.
Y, a propósito, yo era el único poeta de la Naturaleza.
Un día antes de su muerte, dicen que pidió sus gafas, papel y lápiz y escribió: I know not what tomorrow will bring (No sé lo que el mañana me traerá).
Un séquito de admiradores, Fernando, eso es lo que te sigue trayendo el mañana desde el día en que te fuiste.
Lecturas consultadas:
- Antonio Tabucchi (1994). Sueños de sueños y Los últimos días de Fernando Pessoa. Anagrama.
- Fernando Pessoa (traducción de Ángel Campos Pámpano, 1999). Odas de Ricardo Reis. Unidad Editorial.
- Fernando Pessoa (traducción de Juan José Álvarez Galán, 2008). Diarios. Gadir editorial S.L.
- Fernando Pessoa (traducción de Ángel Campos Pámpano, 2013 ). Un corazón de nadie. Antología poética (1913-1935). Galaxia Gutenberg.
- Fernando Pessoa (traducción de Perfecto E. Cuadrado, 2013). Libro del desasosiego. Acantilado.
- Fernando Pessoa (traducción de Alejandro García, 2016). Cartas a Ophélia. Libros del zorro rojo.
- Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen (traducción de Ángel Campos Pámpano, 2019). Lo digo para ver. Galaxia Gutenberg.
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